On the evening of 23/7, Minh Anh, a resident of Tay Ho ward, was shocked when her 13-year-old daughter disappeared.
After dinner that night, Minh Anh and her husband couldn't find their daughter. Unable to reach her by phone, they searched every alley, school, and restaurant in the neighborhood. "I tried not to panic, but I stayed up all night worrying," the 42-year-old mother recounted.
The next morning, she reported the incident to the police and posted about her missing daughter on social media. On the afternoon of 24/7, a shopkeeper near their home reported a young girl asking them to receive money from a stranger in An Giang. Simultaneously, the family received numerous scam calls demanding ransom.
Checking messages on their daughter's phone revealed frequent conversations with someone claiming to be her "boyfriend," whom she met through an online game a year prior. This person sent sweet messages, provided emotional support, topped up her game account, sent her money, and gradually built trust before inviting her to Tay Ninh.
Following the individual's instructions on 23/7, Minh Ngoc began her journey from Hanoi, carrying 2.8 million VND transferred to her via an acquaintance's account for travel expenses and a new phone. She received detailed instructions: take a motorbike taxi to Nuoc Ngam bus station, travel to Ha Tinh, and then continue to Ho Chi Minh City.
At the Tay Ninh bus station, a local who saw the missing person report on social media alerted the family and the police. As Minh Ngoc prepared to move on, authorities and her parents arrived just in time.
On 27/7, Minh Ngoc returned to Hanoi, ending a four-day journey fraught with risk.
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Minh Ngoc at a photocopy shop on the evening of 23/7, before leaving home. Photo provided by the family |
Minh Ngoc at a photocopy shop on the evening of 23/7, before leaving home. Photo provided by the family
"Back home, she seemed cheerful and showed no signs of psychological distress, even insisting her boyfriend was a good person," Minh Anh said. Minh Ngoc explained that she left because she was upset about being scolded for her poor academic performance.
Minh Anh stated that she and her husband didn't expect high academic achievements from their daughter, only hoping she would pass her classes and learn to be independent. However, her having to repeat 6th grade created tension at home.
This year, she had to retake two subjects. The family tried various approaches: advising, coaxing, scolding, and sharing their struggles to provide for her education, hoping she would understand and try harder. However, nothing seemed to work.
She often slept a lot and started studying at 9:30 PM, but by 10 PM, she would put her books away and go to sleep. So, Minh Anh insisted she finish her homework before going to bed. "We forbade her from using her phone due to declining grades, but she secretly contacted her online friend by borrowing phones from friends or others," she said. "I never imagined this would give a malicious individual the opportunity to approach and manipulate her."
Reading the messages on her daughter's phone revealed the extent of the scammer's "care": from topping up her game account and sending money to daily heartfelt conversations, "more attentive than a customer service representative." Minh Ngoc willingly shared her innermost thoughts with a stranger, but never with her parents.
After the incident, Minh Ngoc agreed to retake her exams following persuasion from relatives and the police. She gradually realized her "boyfriend's" actions were wrong and promised not to be swayed again. However, Minh Anh said the individual continued messaging her daughter after she returned home, asking, "Are you home yet?" and "Where have you reached?"
"I used to think I understood my daughter's thoughts because she was always cheerful and shared stories about school and friends. But it turns out that was just the surface. Inside, she felt lonely, pressured, and lacked emotional support," the mother confided.
Minh Anh plans to seek professional psychological help for her daughter, recognizing that simply forbidding things isn't enough. "I will try to be gentler with her, talk more, especially as she enters adolescence, a phase where she needs to express herself but lacks the skills to discern right from wrong," she said.
She also urged other parents not to dismiss similar stories in the news as distant events. "They can absolutely happen to our own children," Minh Anh warned.
According to Nguyen Le Thuy, a psychology and life skills education expert at the Center for Youth Development (Tien Phong & Nhi Dong Newspaper), adolescents often trust their intuition, believing they can distinguish right from wrong, even thinking their parents are less socially aware than they are. This is a phase where their ego develops, and they tend to disregard emotional advice lacking concrete evidence.
"If parents just offer general warnings like 'be careful of being scammed' or 'don't trust strangers,' children are likely to ignore them, thinking their parents are overreacting," Thuy explained. Instead, parents need to equip themselves with practical knowledge, social understanding, and online communication skills to make their conversations with their children more persuasive. "For children to listen, parents themselves must be capable of guiding them," she said.
Common warning signs in children heading down the wrong path include: lack of focus, irritability, indifference towards family, reduced interaction, staying up late, and excessive phone use. When noticing these changes, instead of scolding, parents should create shared spaces like family meals or outings, choose moments when their child is happy to talk, or share a news article about scams for them to read.
"Discipline is necessary, but it should be delivered with kindness. Clear agreements are essential: what the child is allowed and not allowed to do. If they haven't mastered something, guide them with patience," the expert added.
According to Thuy, besides providing guidance, parents should also tactfully eliminate unsafe relationships, both in real life and online, without provoking resistance in their children.
"Most importantly, parents must act as guides, not controllers," she emphasized.
*Names have been changed.
Pham Nga
