Instead of clinging, wallowing in sorrow, or feigning indifference, focus on yourself. Here are 11 psychological strategies to help you recover and possibly make your ex regret the breakup, according to American clinical psychologist Natalie Maximets.

Cut off all contact. Staying in touch with an ex after a breakup seems harmless, but it prolongs the pain. There are two common reasons for this: either the breakup was amicable or one person hasn't let go. With long-term couples, the latter is often more common.

A study published in the US National Library of Medicine shows that maintaining contact, directly or indirectly, with an ex can significantly disrupt the healing process and hinder personal growth after a breakup.

When your ex realizes you're still watching or willing to talk, they assume you haven't moved on. And like anything easily obtained, your presence becomes less valuable in their eyes.

Be present but unavailable. Instead of constantly texting, calling, or trying to meet, maintain distance. However, that doesn't mean you should disappear completely. When you're no longer present in their life, even on social media, the chance of being forgotten is higher.

So, continue to appear subtly, for example, updating on new activities, friends, and personal growth journeys. Social media can be a powerful tool to convey the message that you're living well, but there's no longer room for them in your world.

Upgrade your appearance. You may have been active and well-groomed, but gradually became careless about your appearance, less active, or developed habits that tired your ex.

Breakups are rarely due to a single reason. Many stem from unspoken negative changes, such as weight gain, lack of enthusiasm, flirting with others, or losing interest in your partner. Some people even hear things like, "I don't recognize you anymore," or "You're not the person I fell in love with."

If this applies to you, start by improving your appearance and lifestyle. Exercise, get a haircut, dress better, and quit bad habits. These are the first steps to regaining your former attractiveness.

Stay calm, composed, and self-controlled. Breakups can evoke intense emotions: hurt, anger, confusion. Many people, unable to control their emotions, send reproachful texts, make late-night calls, or post negative comments on social media. These actions may provide temporary relief, but in the long run, they damage your image.

Choose to react calmly, even if you're not truly okay. Staying calm affirms that you're not consumed by emotions and are in control.

Show them you're fine without them. A study published in PubMed shows that those who demonstrate emotional stability and a positive spirit after a breakup tend to recover faster and become more resilient in future relationships.

You don't need to (and can't) completely hide your true feelings. But when asked about the past, choose to respond calmly, such as, "I'm a little disappointed, but I respect both of our decisions and am moving on with my life."

Maturity in your behavior is what makes them reconsider, not because you're still hurting, but because you've overcome yourself.

Demonstrate success in small ways. You don't need grand achievements to make your ex regret the breakup. Just become a better version of yourself: learn new skills, start personal projects, develop hobbies, or move to a more promising job.

Success doesn't just come from results, but also from a progressive spirit, independence, and passion for life. These positive changes make you more attractive, not just to your ex but also to yourself.

Build a new social life. Research on over 3,700 breakup cases shows that those with strong social networks often recover faster and experience less pain after a split.

A healthy social life not only helps you balance your emotions but also signals that you're truly moving on.

However, do it for yourself, not to show off or get your ex's attention. Genuine friendships will bring positive experiences and help you shift away from the past, towards valuable moments in the present.

Smile more than they expect. Your ex might believe you're drowning in tears after the breakup. Don't let them be right. While the pain is real, no one forces you to show it. Smile, be kind, and act gently, not to pretend, but to gradually heal yourself.

A positive attitude not only makes you stronger but also shatters their expectation of your breakdown. Many people jump into new relationships just to make their ex jealous, but this can backfire if you're not truly ready.

A confident smile, at the right moment, is the ultimate affirmation: you're okay and don't need anyone else to make you happy.

Date when you're ready. After a breakup, many people rush into new relationships hoping to fill the void or make their ex jealous. However, if you're not truly ready, the new relationship can be short-lived and bring more pain.

A 2015 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that those who start dating again when emotionally ready tend to have higher self-esteem, recover faster, and are less preoccupied with their ex. They feel more confident about their attractiveness and experience a smoother healing process.

If you find someone suitable, move forward naturally.

Start doing things just for you. Attractiveness doesn't come from suffering, but from positive energy and the ability to rise after hardship.

Start doing the things you've been putting off: learn a new skill, travel alone, join a club, paint, or play a musical instrument. When you truly enjoy life for no one else, it will be the most effective "psychological blow" to your ex.

Nhat Minh (Theo Yourtango)