Actually, declining a loan doesn't have to be cold or confrontational. Smart individuals can use tactful language to encourage the other party to withdraw their request, preserving both their money and the relationship.

Lending money is a sensitive and awkward topic. Illustration: Sohu

Preemptive action

When someone asks for a loan, the most awkward part is often their explanation of hardship, making it difficult to refuse. The best approach isn't to say "no," but to counter with questions that prompt them to reconsider. For example, you could sincerely ask, "What difficulties are you facing? Tell me about it; maybe I can help in another way."

The implication of this statement is: I'm not refusing to help, but borrowing money may not be the best solution.

Most borrowers haven't fully thought through their problems. When you proactively offer to find alternative solutions, they might realize their need isn't urgent or find another way instead of borrowing from you.

Author Mark Twain once said, "Lending money to a friend is putting money to test friendship." Instead of passively facing this test, take the initiative. Those genuinely needing help will appreciate your effort; those seeking to exploit you will withdraw.

Using formal procedures as a barrier

If they persist, you can subtly shift the responsibility to higher principles, such as, "My money is currently tied up in investments/mortgage payments, and it's not easy to access," or "My spouse manages our finances, so I need to discuss it first."

This approach avoids direct refusal and the awkwardness it brings. More importantly, it conveys the message that lending money isn't simple; it requires a process and can't be done instantly.

Financial tycoon George Soros (USA) once stated, "Markets are risky, lending must be cautious." Borrowing between friends may seem emotionally driven, but it carries inherent risks. Responding with "formalization" protects you and encourages responsibility in borrowing.

Declining with a "hard-learned lesson"

If they still don't give up and resort to emotional appeals like, "We've been close for years, don't you trust me?"

At this point, you can sigh and express helplessness: "It's not that I don't want to help, but I lent you money before, which hasn't been repaid. I'm in a difficult situation now, and my family is already upset about it."

The weight of this statement lies in using a "past lesson" to highlight the risk, making them understand that borrowing isn't trivial. Shifting responsibility to "family" provides an escape while avoiding direct confrontation.

Bao Nhien (Theo Aboluowang)