"Even though I express myself through actions a lot, she just stays silent, doesn't thank me, and doesn't show love in her eyes," he said.

41-year-old Holden also loves his wife but doesn't feel her companionship in life. "I ask myself what am I doing here?" This feeling of loneliness and lack of recognition also led him to become unfaithful.

Patrick and Holden are not men who want to leave their families. They are not chasing sex, but seeking something deeper: validation.

According to sexologist Dr. Alicia M. Walker, associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University, USA, men's infidelity often stems from unmet emotional needs that they don't know how to articulate.

Dr. Robert Weiss, clinical director of Seeking Integrity, a US-based treatment organization for intimacy disorders, also said that after nearly three decades of treating people who have cheated on their partners, he can confidently say that infidelity is not always the result of a bad relationship.

In fact, most of the men who have had affairs that he has treated claim to still love their wives, still find them attractive, and value the life they have built together.

But they still have affairs. They betray the person they love in the worst way and then wonder why they did it.

Illustrative photo: Shutterstock.com/Prostock-studio

Not only do they need answers, but their betrayed partners also need explanations. Many have invested decades in nurturing a family and a stable relationship – now they face the shattering of trust. They ask themselves: What did I do wrong?

In some cases, infidelity is a consequence of a cold marriage, deadlocked by finances, children, or social prejudices. But in many other cases, like the men above, they have affairs not because they want to leave their wives, but because they no longer recognize themselves.

For many men, masculinity lies not only in muscles or sexual prowess but in being seen as important in the eyes of their loved ones.

According to Dr. Alicia Walker, acts of emotional care such as asking, encouraging, and acknowledging are often the default job for women in many heterosexual relationships.

This is an unspoken expectation, but one that exists persistently and silently: women must constantly maintain emotions, while men rely on it without realizing that someone is doing that work every day.

When expressions of love begin to fade, due to exhaustion, work pressure, or simply too many years without reciprocation, men feel like they are in freefall.

They don't know how to express their emotional needs. They just feel the ground beneath them shaking.

And then, another woman with a simple compliment like "You're great" can become a life raft for their ego. Not because she is more attractive, but because she reflects an image they long to see in themselves.

49-year-old Zack used to think that if he were masculine enough, his wife would listen and praise him like she used to. He sought that validation from another woman. 35-year-old Jason said that his lover made him feel like "nothing in me is lost."

For these men, having an affair is not about replacing their wives but about patching up a better version of themselves. They want to be interesting, desired, and manly enough.

"They are not running away from the marriage but from the kind of man they are afraid of becoming," he said.

Masculinity, often associated with success, strength, and attractiveness, becomes fragile if not replenished through daily validation.

"And when the praise and attention are gone, some men will find a roundabout way out: not to have sex, but to feel they are still worthy," said Dr. Alicia M. Walker.

Nhat Minh (According to Psychologytoday)