Life coach Mitzi Bockmann, a relationship expert in New York, USA, highlights 10 common habits that can gradually drive friends and family away.
Disrespecting other people's time. Constantly being late or making others wait can make them feel undervalued. Time is a precious commodity. Repeatedly waiting, having schedules disrupted, or feeling that their time is being imposed upon leads to quiet resentment, which can gradually fracture relationships.
Bockmann recounts how her friends used to wait for one friend every morning for a walk. After multiple instances, they lost patience, left without her, and the friendship cooled.
Trying to fix others. When someone shares a problem, they need a listening ear and understanding, not advice or judgment.
Continuously trying to fix someone's behavior or thinking, even with good intentions, can make them feel pressured and diminish trust in the relationship.
Prioritizing romantic relationships above all else. Giving absolute priority to romantic relationships (spouses) while neglecting friendships or family connections can make loved ones feel abandoned. This imbalance, if prolonged, easily creates distance, especially when presence during important occasions is lacking.
Disrespecting differing viewpoints. Differences in perspectives are natural, especially among adults. However, disrespecting or attempting to dismiss others' viewpoints can lead to conflict and erode the sense of safety in communication. Respecting differences is crucial for maintaining lasting relationships.
Frequently bringing up controversial topics. Life is full of potentially contentious subjects. Continuously raising sensitive issues, especially with those holding opposing views, can create tension and affect the comfort level within relationships.
Comparing lives. Comparing living conditions, income levels, children, or personal experiences often makes relationships strained. Those being compared tend to withdraw and limit sharing, thus diminishing the existing bond.
Holding grudges. Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. However, failing to address them promptly and holding onto resentment can easily chill affections. Prolonged silence often leads to a complete disconnect.
Passive-aggressive behavior. Indirect communication, innuendo, and sarcasm instead of open dialogue can create discomfort and insecurity for the other person. This is an indirect expression of anger that easily leads to misunderstandings and loss of trust in the relationship.
Criticizing how others do things. Even with good intentions, frequently commenting on or criticizing others' methods can make them feel judged. Criticism, if not carefully considered, can strain relationships and create discomfort.
Flirting with someone else's partner. Even jokingly, flirting with a friend's partner can have serious consequences. This behavior can damage trust, trigger insecurity, and disrupt both friendships and romantic relationships within the same social circle.
Nhat Minh (via Yourtango)
