Here are some common indicators of low EQ.

Limited vocabulary

Individuals with low EQ often use simple, unvaried language. They tend to repeat basic terms like "good," "bad," and "okay," which makes conversations lack depth. A 1984 National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) survey found that 35% of 13-year-olds read daily. By 2023, this had dropped to 21%. Less reading contributes to a limited vocabulary. Intellectually curious people quickly become bored with conversations revolving around only a few familiar words.

Lack of self-reflection

Highly perceptive individuals often question their own thoughts and actions. Those with lower EQ rarely reflect on why they behave a certain way or how they affect others. According to Dr. Ilene S. Cohen, a psychotherapist and professor at Barry University (USA), self-reflection isn't a one-time event. It's a lifelong journey toward understanding oneself and one's role in the world. This helps us recognize strengths, acknowledge weaknesses, and grow.

Illustrative photo: Yourtango

Illustrative photo: Yourtango

Defensive reactions

Without strong critical thinking skills, people easily feel attacked even by gentle questioning. Defensiveness becomes their way of protecting their emotions. John Kim, a licensed therapist and author of books on mental health, states that defensiveness is a major obstacle to healthy communication. It erodes trust and hinders understanding and empathy. Perceptive people notice this when others abruptly end conversations or change their demeanor when asked probing questions.

Interrupting without adding substance

Discerning individuals find conversations stagnate when others constantly interrupt without contributing meaningful content. They may appear enthusiastic but merely repeat points or interject with trivial remarks. Caren Osten, a positive psychology consultant, suggests that we are often uncomfortable with silence. Yet, those pauses offer opportunities for reflection and deeper connection. Interruptions demonstrate a lack of focus and a failure to truly listen.

Discomfort with uncertainty

Those with low EQ often avoid questions without clear-cut answers. They prefer simplicity and try to evade the unknown. Nicole Whiting, an American therapist and personal development coach, argues that embracing uncertainty isn't just a philosophy but a path to a fulfilling life. By relinquishing the illusion of control, we open ourselves to creativity and growth. Intellectually curious individuals embrace questions, while those less perceptive quickly change the subject.

Confusing disagreement with conflict

Those with higher EQ understand that disagreements are normal and even beneficial. Conversely, those with lower EQ often perceive them as personal attacks. Professor Jennifer A. Samp, an interpersonal communication expert at the University of Georgia (USA), notes that debate can foster positive energy. It clarifies what truly matters, from personal values to relationship goals. For those unaccustomed to discussion, even a differing opinion can cause tension.

Failing to recognize contradictions

Individuals lacking self-awareness easily fall into contradictions without realizing it. They might make opposing statements within the same conversation. Perceptive individuals frequently check their thinking, asking, "Does this make sense?" When someone lacks this ability, conversations become confusing.

Black-and-white thinking

People with low EQ often think in absolutes of right and wrong. They don't acknowledge the possibility of multiple perspectives. Those with higher EQ recognize that many life issues are complex. There isn't one single answer. Such rigid thinking makes conversations tiring.

Viewing learning as finished

Those with higher EQ see learning as a lifelong pursuit. They're curious and enjoy exploring. In contrast, those with low EQ believe they've learned enough. They stop asking questions and become impatient with inquisitive people. This leads to intellectual stagnation and limits their conversations.

Rarely citing sources

Individuals with low EQ often say "I read somewhere" without providing specific sources. Those with higher EQ value accuracy and become skeptical when sources are lacking. This makes it hard to trust their statements. Conversations lose focus because there's no basis for verification.

Nhat Minh (Yourtango)