Psychology experts highlight common mistakes in raising boys, offering alternative solutions to foster healthier development.

Viewing vulnerability as shameful

In many families, boys often hear phrases like "boys don't cry" or "be strong". According to psychology experts, this teaches children to hide their emotions instead of recognizing and naming them.

Doctor Anna Elton, a marriage and family therapist in the US, states that when ridiculed for crying or being afraid, boys do not become stronger; they only become better at suppressing their feelings. As a result, many adult men only react to pressure in two ways: anger or avoidance. Over time, this diminishes their ability to communicate and empathize, increasing the risk of depression, addiction, or violent behavior.

"A boy who can say 'I am ashamed' or 'I feel left out' will be less likely to use cruelty or violence to release emotions", Elton says.

Leaving children to "online idols"

According to Nicole Runyon, a child psychotherapist in the US, a common mistake among modern parents is loosening their educational role and allowing the internet to guide their children.

When spending too much time online, children are easily influenced by content creators or communities that promote distorted gender ideologies. In particular, groups within the "Manosphere" (an extreme online space that venerates men) often propagate views of male superiority and disregard for women. Studies show that TikTok and YouTube algorithms can quickly recommend such content to adolescent boys.

Runyon explains that the less connected children are to their families, the more susceptible they become to manipulation. Parental companionship and conversations about responsibility and respect are the most effective protective barriers.

Shielding children from all failures

Many parents try to remove all difficulties from their sons' lives, from resolving school conflicts to taking responsibility when their children make mistakes. However, experts believe that uncomfortable experiences help children develop resilience and self-reliance.

Nicole Runyon observes that many parents often lower expectations when their sons lack motivation. But what boys need is love coupled with clear standards. Taking responsibility helps children build genuine self-confidence, rather than growing up feeling helpless and dependent.

Applying gender double standards

According to Doctor Elton, children begin to form gender awareness early. By about 10 years old, many have clear prejudices about how boys and girls "should" behave.

In many families, girls are often expected to do more housework, behave more properly, and take on more responsibility. Conversely, boys are often excused for many mistakes. This disparity creates women who are accustomed to carrying burdens and men who are used to being served. Experts advise parents to divide household chores fairly among all children, regardless of gender.

Underestimating the father's role

Many still believe that child-rearing primarily belongs to the mother. However, studies show that a father's presence has a particular influence on personality development in boys.

"Sons learn more from what their fathers do than what they say", Doctor Elton notes. How a father handles anger, treats his partner, talks about women, or admits mistakes all become direct lessons for his son. Experts encourage fathers to model calmness, kindness, and responsibility.

Lacking healthy relationship models

The family is the first environment that shapes how children perceive relationships. If they witness parents showing love, respect, and open communication, children are more likely to replicate that model as adults.

Beyond romantic love, experts also emphasize the role of male friendships. In an era where more men are experiencing loneliness and depression, it is essential to show children that men can share and emotionally support each other.

Tolerating the mindset of "boys will be boys"

In 2009, the British reality show "Boys and Girls Alone" conducted a social experiment with 20 children aged 11-12, divided into two separate houses for boys and girls. While the group of girls quickly organized cooking, cleaning, and maintaining order, the group of boys frequently engaged in conflict, mischief, and factionalism.

According to experts, this result indicates that empathy, discipline, and cooperation are largely formed through education, not gender instinct. When adults justify aggressive, irresponsible behavior with the phrase "boys are just mischievous like that", they unintentionally enable bad habits.

"Masculinity does not equate to being unemotional or disrespectful", Doctor Elton asserts. A boy raised to be strong yet empathetic, decisive yet attentive, will have more opportunities to become a good partner and a responsible citizen.

Nhat Minh (According to Yourtango)