Adam Caldow and Emma Medeiros, close friends since college, became friends with benefits. "We were curious about sex but didn't know what to do, so we thought it was a good fit," says Medeiros, 44, from Maine. "Neither of us felt embarrassed because we were both clueless."

Their sexual and platonic relationship continued throughout college. "We made it very clear it was just physical," Medeiros explains.

After a period of dating other people, they realized they wanted to be together. "The funniest thing was when we told our friends we were a couple, no one was surprised," she recalls. They married in 2012 and remain happily together.

The actors in the films Friends With Benefits (center) and No Strings Attached, both about friends with benefits, which were released in 2011. Photo: *Cbr*

While some FWB relationships blossom into marriage, like Medeiros and Caldow’s, others end in heartbreak. Therapists highlight the downsides, from emotional turmoil to jeopardizing the initial friendship.

Some proponents compare FWB to a "diet dessert" – sweet without the consequences. Critics, however, argue that serious repercussions are likely unless both parties establish clear emotional boundaries.

A 2024 study by Portuguese psychologists Ana Simao Marques, Joao Manuel de Oliveira, and Conceicao Nogueira, published in *Women’s Studies International Forum*, notes the increasing popularity of FWB, especially among young people. The researchers suggest that these relationships often arise from existing friendships due to accessibility, safety, trust, emotional understanding, and shared activities.

However, another study from the University of Delhi warns of potential emotional complexities, including unexpected feelings and conflicts similar to traditional romantic relationships. "The emotional burden of these relationships manifests as stress, anxiety, and unhealthy coping mechanisms, suggesting the need for caution and self-awareness," the researchers write.

Tracey Laszloffy, a marriage and family therapist in North Carolina and Connecticut, doubts the long-term viability of FWB relationships. They often end when one person's expectations shift or they find a partner. "You might initially think you don't want anything serious, but things change, feelings deepen, expectations rise, and jealousy increases," she says. Women, in particular, are often more prone to developing feelings.

Natasha Ho's experience exemplifies this. Her FWB relationship with a close friend ended badly when she wanted more, but he didn't. When she started dating someone else, her friend's jealousy created an irreparable rift. "He had many qualities I liked, but we had different goals and lifestyles. I wanted children; he didn't. He changed jobs constantly; I needed stability," Ho explains.

Connecticut psychologist Tracy Margolin believes that "no-strings-attached" relationships are unsustainable because they're unrealistic. "In a sexual relationship, you're not allowed to be disappointed just because the other person says they don't want anything serious?" she asks. "This isn't realistic because someone will develop feelings or resentment will build."

All relationships either progress or end. "Human nature is to move forward. Nothing stays still; nothing exists in a vacuum," Margolin concludes.

Bao Nhien (*Washingtonpost*)