In their Mumbai apartment, 34-year-old marketing executive Riya Sane orders food, organizes the wardrobe, chooses tie colors, and even books haircuts for her husband. If she notices a wrinkle on his shirt sleeve, she irons it immediately. If he loses his phone charger, she buys a new one. She's also the one who schedules his dentist appointments, even when she's feeling unwell herself.

She convinced herself it was love until one day, while planning a family vacation, Riya suddenly felt exhausted.

Her friends call her a classic example of "mankeeping," a term describing the act of silently managing and maintaining everything to ensure a husband or boyfriend's life runs smoothly, even if it depletes their own energy.

According to research by psychologists Angelica P. Ferrara and Dylan P. Vergara at Stanford University, mankeeping occurs when women bear the burden of emotional care and support for men who lack a network of friends or relatives to share with. This labor is time-consuming and impacts their well-being.

In many urban, educated Indian families, this goes beyond cooking and caregiving to encompass emotional and mental management, as well as logistical tasks. Women not only cohabitate but also organize, comfort, encourage, and shoulder responsibilities to maintain their partner's stability.

A 2025 survey by the American Institute of Marriage Relations revealed that 72% of single women reported feeling exhausted from being the emotional guide for the men they date. Furthermore, research from IndiaSpend indicates that women dedicate approximately 150% more time than men to housework and caregiving.

Mankeeping is not servitude but something more subtle. Women choose gifts for their in-laws, act as stylists, therapists, health monitors, life coaches, and sometimes even life planners for their husbands. Some even remind their husbands to call their sisters and try to understand their unexpressed emotions.

Social media has become a platform for women to share this burden. The hashtag #Mankeeping has trended globally on TikTok and Instagram, with women recounting stories of managing their partners' moods, choosing their party outfits, and buying gifts on their behalf. Within the family, the wife keeps everything running smoothly.

Many psychologists have delved into mankeeping and its mental impact. A 2024 Stanford University study suggests the root cause lies in men's limited social networks.

They cite Marge from the long-running animated series *The Simpsons* as an example. She is often portrayed as the nurturing wife who listens, reminds, and coordinates everything to maintain stability for her husband and children. She shoulders the emotional labor without reciprocation, mirroring the experiences of many women in real life.

The rise of mankeeping is partly due to generational issues. Many Millennial and Gen Z men grew up in families where women silently performed emotional labor. In a world demanding high emotional intelligence, many haven't caught up, and women are expected to pick up the slack.

"It's not always out of obligation, but habit, love, and hope," says Dr. Anjali Venkatesh, a therapist in Bengaluru, India.

Mankeeping is not a love crisis but a call for balance. He emphasizes that a true partnership means shared effort, where men must actively participate and support their partners.

Ngoc Ngan (via *India Today*)