Late Berkshire Hathaway Vice Chairman Charlie Munger often shared that efforts to change others' fundamental nature typically lead only to disappointment.
"If you want to ruin your life, spend time trying to change your spouse. That's truly foolish", he said during a 2014 interview with Fortune, alongside Berkshire Hathaway Chairman Warren Buffett.
The conversation began with investment. When asked about investors who acquire companies with strong fundamentals but weak management, hoping to replace leaders to create new value, Buffett stated that Berkshire Hathaway had attempted this approach without success.
"Life is much more interesting when you work with good people instead of trying to reform those who aren't suitable", Buffett remarked. "Who would want to spend their entire life trying to change someone else's natural character?"
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Billionaire Charlie Munger. Photo: Yahoo |
He believed this principle also applied to marriage. "Marrying someone to change them is insane. Hiring or partnering with someone solely to change them is equally foolish."
Munger agreed. According to him, attempting to transform someone into a different version of themselves is often a losing gamble, whether it involves a spouse, business partner, or corporate leader.
Three years later, at the 2017 Daily Journal shareholder meeting, Munger reiterated this philosophy when discussing investment.
He noted that the market was increasingly competitive, with fewer easy opportunities, so investors must leverage their existing advantages rather than hoping for change.
"I once said that you must marry the best person you can tolerate. I'm afraid that's the rule of life. You must utilize the best advantages you have to survive", he stated.
According to Munger, this lesson extends beyond marriage. Life becomes simpler if people stop pursuing an idealized version of others and learn to appreciate the genuine values that already exist.
This philosophy also reflected his own life. After his first marriage ended in divorce, Munger married Nancy Barry Borthwick in 1956 and remained with her until her passing in 2010.
His long-time companion Warren Buffett also had a marriage lasting over half a century with Susan Thompson before her death, and later remarried Astrid Menks.
According to an article on Benzinga, what united the two investors was not only their business success but also a principle they adhered to for decades: choosing the right people from the start instead of expecting others to change to suit their desires.
Munger believed this principle could also apply to many other life decisions.
Instead of spending years trying to transform a person or situation into something it inherently isn't, seek out options that already possess the right qualities from the outset.
By Nhat Minh (According to Benzinga, Finance.yahoo)
