Parents play a crucial role in guiding their children's social interactions, fostering independence for their development. However, intervention becomes necessary when friendships turn toxic.
Konstantin Lukin, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Lukin Center for Psychotherapy (USA), emphasizes the importance of support and clear boundaries in helping teens navigate unhealthy peer pressure. He advises that intervention should be supportive, not controlling or critical.
Parents should adopt a "trust but verify" approach. While trusting their child's feelings about a friendship, they should also actively participate in their child's life to observe the dynamics. This method helps understand the child and their peer group at any age.
Dr. Tom Milam, chief medical officer at Iris Telehealth (USA), notes that parental intuition often detects unusual shifts in a child's behavior, speech, or social media activity.
Trusting this intuition is key. Parents should investigate before discussing concerns with their child. If a negative influence is identified, a frank conversation should follow.
Direct intervention is a last resort, reserved for situations where a child's safety or well-being is clearly threatened, and gentler approaches have failed. Bullying, emotional harm, or risky behaviors warrant intervention.
Parents are often the first to sense something amiss. Changes in a child's emotions and behavior, like withdrawal, anxiety, or friendship-related stress, are warning signs.
 |
Illustrative photo: Yahoo Life |
Illustrative photo: Yahoo Life
Other red flags include fear of school or reluctance to attend. Conversely, if a child is happy, socially comfortable, and open with their parents, respecting their space is best.
Dr. Milam points out that children under 13 typically view parents as trusted adults, making parental influence on friendships easier. Younger children often form friendships through sports or extracurricular activities, where parents can interact with their child's peers and parents, and arrange meetings.
Teenagers (13 and older), with their established social networks, are less susceptible to parental influence. This social and ideological distancing is developmentally appropriate, but not all friends are positive. Parental control or judgment can lead to alienation, hindering help when needed.
Many parents inadvertently use judgmental language, causing children to become defensive or withdrawn. "Careful wording and a calm demeanor prevent escalation," Milam advises.
To foster healthy friendships, parents should explain appropriate behavior, guiding children to recognize supportive versus stressful interactions.
Instead of judging, listening and encouraging reflection on unhealthy friendships helps children recognize problems and understand that leaving such relationships is acceptable.
"Complete control is often ineffective," warns Lukin.
Rather than forbidding friendships, parents should clarify family expectations and show interest in their child's social life. Supporting self-esteem and positive relationships has a lasting impact.
This process begins at home, teaching respect and kindness through parental example. Open communication about the qualities of good friends and conflict resolution is essential.
Ngoc Ngan (Yahoo Life)
