This theory originated from the character Miranda in the early 2000s TV series "Sex and the City". She likened men to taxis. When ready to settle down, they "turn on their light" and marry the woman who happens to enter their cab. "If you are a woman over 30 years old looking for love, it is important to meet a man who has turned on his light," the character said.

Two decades later, this dating theory unexpectedly resurfaced on TikTok and online forums. Many women shared experiences of men who "dated for a long time but avoided marriage". Surprisingly, after breaking up, these men quickly married someone else.

The "taxi" theory suggests men are ready for commitment when they want to settle down. *Photo: Prade*

On Verywell Mind, psychologist Afton Turner stated that the theory suggests when a man decides to marry, he signals openness to commitment. "At this point, who he is with is less important than the timing. He is ready to pick up the next passenger and commit," she said.

Agreeing with this view, content creator Olivia Victoria from the US noted that age pressure often pushes women to marry even if they are not ready. Conversely, men often wait to fully enjoy their freedom before seeking a stable relationship.

Dating expert Mila Smith from the UK also observed this trend among her male clients. Many had previously avoided commitment but suddenly wanted to marry after experiencing setbacks and loneliness. She recounted a client, nearly 30 years old, who broke up with his long-term girlfriend because he was not ready to consider their future. A few months later, he found himself in the opposite situation when a new partner refused to commit. "That shock made him realize how his ex-girlfriend felt. From then on, he completely changed his perspective on long-term commitment," Smith explained.

Despite its popularity, the "taxi" dating theory faces mixed opinions. Many experts argue this perspective overlooks emotional factors and is gender-biased, assuming men dictate the timing of commitment while women passively wait "to be chosen".

In Psychology Today, Professor Bruce Y. Lee stated this hypothesis can easily become a self-soothing mechanism after a breakup. "It may not be about timing, but simply that two people are not truly compatible," he said. He also noted that absolute belief in the "taxi theory" might cause couples to overlook core issues such as differing life values or a lack of connection.

Dan Somers, founder of a men's mental health support organization in the UK, said social media contributes to creating an image of men fearing marriage. According to him, men are bombarded with messages that they must be successful and wealthy to deserve love, causing them to both desire stability and fear failure in marriage. Somers himself opposed marriage when he was younger, but life experiences changed him. "At some point, marriage provides a sense of permanence," he said.

Ultimately, what has kept the "taxi theory" relevant for over 20 years is its ability to tap into a common insecurity among those in love: Is the other person not ready, or do they simply not love me enough?

The true answer requires both elements: the right person and the right timing.

By Bao Nhien (Based on Independent/Psychology Today)