Back then, her parents often worked in the fields, leaving the two siblings at home to play. One time, her 15-year-old brother pulled Ha into his bedroom, gave her a doll, and told her to lie still. Fortunately, someone called at the door, and Ha managed to escape.

"Later, I accidentally opened my brother's photo album on the computer and found many sensitive pictures of me," said 23-year-old Thu Ha. Another time, she discovered him peeping while she was taking a bath.

Ha was also once touched inappropriately by a neighbor around her brother's age in front of many friends. "He pretended to play blind man's bluff to grope me. My friends laughed, and I just blushed and left," Ha said.

The young girl didn't dare tell her parents and didn't know how to explain it. "My parents never taught me about sex. My only defense mechanism was to stay away from men, including my brother," Ha said. Even when hanging clothes to dry, she separated her and her brother's clothes with her parents' clothes to feel safer.

Thu Ha was traumatized by sexual harassment from neighbors and relatives. Photo provided by the interviewee

Thu Ha was traumatized by sexual harassment from neighbors and relatives. Photo provided by the interviewee

In Nam Dinh, Ngoc Bich also felt like an outcast after being raped by a neighbor on her way home from school when she was 15.

At the time, her parents worked far away and sent her to live with her uncle in another province. Every day, Ngoc Bich walked to school alone on winding, deserted mountain roads. The neighbor often waylaid and harassed her.

Far from her parents, hurt and ashamed, Ngoc Bich didn't dare tell her uncle. When she wrote to her older sister, her sister told her, "Don't let anyone know, they'll laugh at you."

"From then on, I hated myself because I thought I was no longer pure," said Ngoc Bich, now 35.

The trauma of her youth pushed Ngoc Bich's life into tragedy. Because she hated herself, when she was abused by others later, she simply gave up. Bich Ngoc married and started a family but was unhappy.

She always thought she wasn't worthy of her husband and accepted his abuse. After her divorce, Ngoc Bich recklessly entered into new relationships, even though she knew they were only exploiting her.

"All men in this world are terrible, or at least the ones I've met are all bad," said Ngoc Bich, a single mother, twice divorced.

The number of people like Ngoc Bich and Ha who were victims of child sexual abuse is increasing. According to statistics from the Ministry of Labour, Invalids and Social Affairs, nearly 2,500 cases of child abuse were recorded in 2023, a 9.2% increase compared to the previous year.

The National Children's Hospital reported that in 2024, it received and treated 66 abused children, of which 65.1% were physically abused and 28.8% were sexually abused.

Lawyer Nguyen Thi Ngoc Nu, Head of Tri Viet Law Firm (TP HCM), who has worked with child sexual abuse victims for over 10 years, said that this situation is now happening everywhere and is becoming more sophisticated. "If in the past the abuser was often a stranger or a neighbor, now many cases involve someone close to the victim," the lawyer said.

According to her, the biggest difficulty in providing legal support is that many children feel ashamed and don't dare speak up. Families are also often afraid of scandal or worried that their children will be further traumatized by having to give statements, so they don't dare report it.

Nu once encountered a case of a 12-year-old girl who became pregnant after being abused by her grandfather's younger brother. When the mother reported it, her husband's family threatened both mother and child, causing the child to panic. The husband even threatened divorce.

"I said that remaining silent is a crime because it could lead to other children falling into the same situation," Ngoc Nu recounted. Encouraged and supported by the lawyer, the mother filed a complaint, forcing the perpetrator to face the consequences.

Three golden rules promoted by the Lawyers Association of the Ho Chi Minh City Child Rights Protection Association to help children avoid sexual abuse.

Psychologist Dr. La Linh Nga said that after abuse, children often experience trauma. Young children may not show signs of psychological damage at the time, but during puberty, when they remember those acts, they often feel angry, resentful, and want the perpetrator to pay.

At the secondary school level, children who are harassed often have recurring fears but don't dare tell their families. Nga once met a girl who looked like a boy, brought to her by her family for counseling because they feared she was gay. However, during the consultation, Nga learned that the child had been harassed by a relative and, not wanting it to happen again, dressed like a boy. "The girl kept dreaming of being harassed; even with her eyes closed, she saw her abuser standing next to her," Nga said.

Nga said that most children who are sexually abused experience trauma that causes their academic performance to decline, makes them withdraw, fear communication, and fear men. "As adults, many have difficulty dating and getting married," she said. In some other cases, like Bich Ngoc, they blame themselves, look down on themselves, and think they are "impure."

Associate Professor, Dr. Nguyen Thi To Quyen, Faculty of Sociology and Development, Academy of Journalism and Communication, believes that speaking out against sexual abuse helps prevent similar acts from happening to other children and prevents social instability. At the same time, it helps victims feel protected by the law and adults and believe in justice. "If the perpetrator remains at large, children will always be dissatisfied, develop feelings of hatred, and lose faith," she warned.

Sharing the same view, psychologist La Linh Nga said that the initial process of reporting abuse will be stressful for children. However, when they receive psychological support and see that adults care about and protect them, and that they are not at fault, they will gradually calm down.

Ngoc Nu said that lawyers and police officers who take statements from children in sexual abuse cases are all psychologically trained and conduct interviews in suitable environments without the presence of the child's relatives. "We ask questions while playing with the children, with candy and cakes, so that they can share more easily and without being reminded of the past," she said.

The 12-year-old child who became pregnant due to abuse by her grandfather's younger brother is now emotionally stable and happy thanks to psychological support. She currently lives at the Bridge of Happiness House, a shelter for children who have been abused or are at risk of sexual abuse.

Thu Ha's case is different. The trauma of being harassed but not daring to speak out has haunted her until now. At 23, she hasn't dared to date anyone.

"My parents keep urging me to get married, while I don't want to be close to men," Thu Ha said. She is struggling with whether to tell her mother about the traumas of the past, so that they understand why she is so guarded and uninterested in love.

*Names have been changed.

Pham Nga