Those who choose to remain single, especially those who are single at heart, are often asked, "Who will be there for you if you get sick?". This question implies that married people will always have someone to care for them, as they have vowed to stay together in sickness and in health.

However, a study published in February 2025 in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that this vow isn't always ironclad, particularly when the wife falls ill.

The study, conducted by three Italian sociologists, Daniele Vignoli, Giammarco Alderotti, and Cecilia Tomassini, tracked over 25,000 couples aged 50 and older across 27 European countries for 18 years. They were surveyed multiple times about their health, depression, ability to care for themselves, and marital status.

Illustrative photo: Alamy

The analysis was divided into two age groups: 50–64 and 65 and older. The results were more pronounced in the middle-aged group.

For couples aged 50–64, if the wife's health was poor while the husband's remained good, the risk of divorce was higher than if both were healthy. However, if the husband was ill and the wife was healthy, the likelihood of separation did not increase.

A similar pattern emerged when considering the ability to perform daily activities. If the wife experienced significant limitations, the marriage was more likely to dissolve. Conversely, if the husband had limitations, the risk of divorce remained unchanged.

For older couples, depression had a greater impact than physical health or limitations in daily activities. With depression, the gender disparity reappeared: if the wife was depressed and the husband was not, the likelihood of divorce was higher than if neither was depressed. But if the husband was depressed and the wife was not, the chance of divorce wasn't higher.

The researchers didn't examine specific causes but suggested that women are typically the primary caregivers in families. When they become ill, this burden shifts to the husband, who is less accustomed to the role, increasing pressure.

Additionally, many women are financially vulnerable, so even if their marriage is unhappy, they hesitate to leave. "I also suspect many men enter marriage with the expectation of being cared for. When the roles are reversed, some choose to withdraw rather than stay committed," noted Doctor Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at Harvard University.

This isn't the first study to highlight this gender imbalance when marriages face illness. A previous study of couples where one partner had a brain tumor or multiple sclerosis found that if the wife was ill, 21% of marriages ended. If the husband was ill, the divorce rate was only 3%.

A 2015 study found that the divorce rate when the woman was ill or in poor health was six times higher than when she was healthy. Meanwhile, if the husband was ill, the divorce rate didn't change.

In this study, Doctor Amelia Karraker, the lead researcher, suggested the reason was most wives were dissatisfied with their husbands' care. Older men often don't know how to care for others.

However, Doctor Bella noted that most marriages survive even when the wife becomes ill. In the Italian study, even when the wife became sick, only about one-fifth of marriages dissolved in the following few years.

Nhat Minh (According to Psychology Today)