Many people even experience threats, insults, or false accusations, facing anger or emotional abuse.
Canadian research shows that about 10-20% of divorcing couples are classified as "high-conflict." These are couples who can't move past the separation, exhibiting persistent, intense disputes about child-rearing and asset division.
According to psychologist Lisa Zeiderman of the law firm Miller Zeiderman (US), there are ways to reduce stress and keep things on track.
The following strategies can help save time and energy during the divorce process.
Focus on co-parenting: The core principle of successful co-parenting is focusing on the child's best interests. Establish a parenting schedule, agree on communication rules, and encourage the child's relationship with both parents instead of creating barriers. According to Zeiderman, you can document every conversation to minimize misunderstandings and arguments.
Set and maintain boundaries: To avoid stress, both parties need to be clear that they will only respond to messages related to the parenting schedule, school needs, or similar child-related topics. If your former partner continues to pressure or insult you, remember you can end the conversation.
Avoid face-to-face meetings: If in-person conversations often lead to arguments or tension, choose a different form of communication for necessary discussions. You can use email or messaging apps. If you must meet in person for an event or school meeting, choose a public place. Even these small steps can make a big difference in setting the tone for the conversation.
Keep replies brief and focused: Lengthy replies often create opportunities for further arguments. Therefore, get straight to the point. If you're answering a question about child pick-up time, confirm it and move on. Don't respond to insults or rehash old issues. A simple, direct message will minimize the risk of things escalating.
Avoid posting on social media: Posting about your divorce, your former partner, or anything related to your former marriage can easily make things worse. Even if you feel like venting, avoid sharing anything on social media. If possible, take a break from social media altogether. This is a simple but effective way to protect yourself and avoid unnecessary trouble for you and your children.
Thuy Linh (According to Psychology Today)
