The tech worker in San Francisco admits her boyfriend is polite, funny, and attractive. Their relationship is going well, but Jenna says she's "too lazy" for sex.
"I'm so tired at the end of the day," she said.
Jenna doesn't have an aversion to sex. She wants to conserve her energy for her career. After a long day at work, she prefers relaxing in bed, watching movies, playing games, and practicing self-care.
A survey by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) found that only 37% of Americans have sex weekly, a record low. In 1990, this figure was 55%. The average birth rate is projected to be 1.6 children per woman over the next three decades, below the 2.1 needed to maintain a stable population.
A 2022 survey by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney found that about 25% of Gen Z adults have never had sex. For men, this figure is 30%.
The IFS says that since 2000, the number of Americans having sex has steadily declined. Professor Nicholas H. Wolfinger of the University of Utah states that the biggest predictor of sexual activity is living with a partner. Between 2014 and 2024, the percentage of young people aged 18–29 living with a partner (including unmarried couples) decreased from 42% to 32%, according to a Society survey. The number of people who did not have sex last year doubled from 12% to 24%.
Mike and Emily, married for eight years with two young children, live in a suburban house with a packed schedule from morning to night. Mike works at a tech company, and Emily is a teacher. After work, they pick up their children, prepare dinner, help with homework, and put the kids to bed.
By the time the children are asleep at 9:30 pm, they are too exhausted to think about anything other than watching a movie and going to sleep. "Sex is a luxury we don't have the energy for," Mike said.
Emily says there are nights when she just wants quiet time alone, without talking or touching anyone. They love each other, but sex is no longer a priority; sleep is more important.
Mark Regnerus, a sociology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, suggests that in the West, many people are replacing time spent together with digital habits, impacting evening activities like dating or caring for a partner.
Smartphones, constantly generating new content, are gradually replacing human interaction, becoming a form of unintentional birth control and leading to increased isolation.
No one knows exactly why Americans are having less sex. Testosterone levels have been declining for years, people may be too preoccupied with their phones, and some older adults abandoned dating and sex during the Covid-19 pandemic, becoming accustomed to single life and abstinence.
"We're becoming bored with each other, and this increases the risk of being led by electronic devices, away from people and those we once trusted, toward a detached world," he said.
Ngoc Ngan (According to The Washington Post, Newsweek)
