"Do you know who I am?"

Boasting about your status, connections, or accomplishments is a quick way to lose respect. Phrases like "Do you know who I am?", "I'm better than this," or "I'm extremely good at this" imply you believe you deserve special treatment based solely on your identity or abilities. This can easily irritate others and make you appear arrogant. It can also make you seem insecure, relying on external validation rather than self-confidence.

According to etiquette expert Myka Meier (USA), the best way to earn respect is through actions and kindness, not self-promotion. Instead of demanding recognition, focus on building genuine connections. Remember, humility can be far more impressive than fame.

"I told you so."

No one likes having their mistakes pointed out, especially after they've already realized them. Saying "I told you so" only makes the other person feel worse and can make you seem smug.

Instead of highlighting your correctness, offer support or guidance to help them resolve the issue. This approach not only soothes hurt feelings but also strengthens your relationship. By refraining from this phrase, you demonstrate that you value the relationship more than being right. People appreciate those who help them learn from mistakes without judgment. By taking the high road, you also demonstrate maturity and emotional intelligence.

"You always do this."

Using absolute terms like "you always..." or "you never..." in conversations or arguments can damage relationships. These statements are rarely accurate and can make the other person feel attacked and misunderstood. Avoiding accusatory language creates an environment for better understanding, where both parties feel heard and valued.

By discussing specific behaviors, you can work together to find solutions or compromises. This method not only avoids unnecessary conflict but also strengthens the relationship.

"That's not fair."

Life has its ups and downs, and fairness is often subjective. Constantly complaining about unfairness when things don't go your way can make you appear immature and unwilling to adapt.

Instead of dwelling on perceived injustices, focus on finding solutions and ways to improve the situation. This proactive approach can lead to more positive outcomes and personal growth. It also shows others that you are resilient and capable of handling adversity gracefully.

"I don't have time for this."

Saying "I don't have time for this" or "That's not my problem" can make you seem indifferent and dismissive, even if you are genuinely busy. This suggests you don't prioritize the other person or the situation, causing hurt feelings.

Instead of outright dismissal, try to communicate your time constraints constructively and empathetically. Suggest an alternative time or method to address the issue, showing that you still value the person or situation. This approach maintains the relationship while respecting your own time limits.

"I hate this/that."

Using strong negative language like "I hate this/that" can create a negative atmosphere and discourage those around you. It can make you appear petulant and difficult to please.

Instead, try to express your dissatisfaction constructively. Calmly and respectfully expressing your preferences or concerns can lead to more productive conversations. This approach allows you to address the issue without spreading negativity.

Thuy Linh (Theo Bolde)