At a dinner in Shanghai, Trung Quoc, research student Zheng Junyao (Shanghai Jiao Tong University) was surprised to observe a male high school student refuse to clear dishes, stating it was "women's work". When his mother reminded him, the boy said, "Dad never does it either".

Inspired by this observation, Zheng and colleagues conducted a large-scale study involving 50,000 adolescents (10-16 years old) across 15 countries. The recently published findings reveal that how parents share household chores deeply impacts children's behavior at school.

Illustration: Goc cua Hang

The research team identified four common models of labor division within families:

Equal Model (33%): Parents share domestic tasks and income earning equally. Children in this group showed the lowest rates of bullying peers.

Disengaged Model (5%): Both parents neglect family responsibilities. Children in this group faced the highest risk of engaging in bullying.

Transitional Model (45%): Both parents earn income, but the mother primarily handles household chores.

Gender-Specialized Model (17%): The mother performs almost all household chores, while the father focuses on earning income.

According to experts, the family kitchen is where two psychological mechanisms are shaped, leading to aggressive behavior in children at school.

The first is rigid gender stereotypes. In families where "mother cooks, father earns," children assume different statuses for males and females. At school, they may react negatively to those who do not conform to these norms. A boy might ridicule a male friend for being "too feminine" or bully a "strong" female friend to reinforce what they perceive as a natural social order.

The second is a fixed mindset. In disengaged families, children tend to develop a belief that personality is innate and unchangeable. They often lack empathy and view those who are "different" as deserving punishment rather than needing support.

The study also indicates that while family models affect everyone, boys tend to translate stereotypes into violent behavior more distinctly than girls. This stems from the pressure to demonstrate "masculinity" during adolescence. In contrast, girls often exhibit inequality more subtly, such as through verbal aggression or self-limiting their capabilities.

"Anti-bullying programs in schools will struggle to succeed if children maintain beliefs about injustice formed within the family," a research team representative emphasized.

Children rarely heed sermons; they learn from daily observations. Character and empathy education for children does not begin with grand lessons, but sometimes simply with who stands up to do the dishes after a meal.

Nhat Minh (According to *Sixth Tone*)