James, 35, an office worker in New York, works diligently and always returns home on time. However, he lacks a support network beyond his wife. When facing work pressure, he brings his silence home, not sharing with friends.
Tina, his wife, recounts that whenever her husband is upset, she proactively asks questions to help him de-stress. She reminds him to call his mother, prepare birthday gifts for his friends, and absorbs all his negative thoughts. James views this as trust, but for Tina, it is unpaid, exhausting labor.
"If I show weakness, my husband's spirits will also collapse," Tina stated.
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Illustrative photo: Huffpost |
Researchers at Stanford University in the US term the act of women becoming their partners' emotional burden-bearers as "mankeeping". This describes a state where women absorb men's failures and loneliness to sustain a relationship.
This invisible pressure fosters a trend of "quiet quitting" in relationships. A report from the Pew Research Center in the US indicates that 50% of single men are actively seeking partners, while this figure is 35% for women.
A Survey Center on American Life poll reveals that the percentage of men without close friends has increased fivefold since 1990. This reluctance to show vulnerability to male peers leads them to place their psychological burdens on their partners.
Christopher Pepper, a health education coordinator at the San Francisco Art Institute in the US, notes that Gen Z primarily communicates online, making it difficult for men to find empathy. Consequently, two-thirds of young men feel misunderstood.
Many women today no longer accept suppressing personal needs. About 56% of women surveyed report difficulty finding partners who meet their expectations. Research from the University of Michigan in the US shows that women in relationships (dating or married) perform an average of 7 additional hours of housework per week, while men save time when they have a partner.
Personal safety also poses a barrier. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), one-third of women globally have experienced violence from a partner. Due to safety concerns, 62% of single women state they have no intention of dating.
As women withdraw from relationships, men's perspectives are shifting. An analysis from the Financial Times indicates that in 30 countries, Gen Z men tend to be more conservative than women, with a difference in views reaching 30%.
Christopher Pepper suggests that society must stop demanding women absorb others' pain. He believes men need to cultivate emotional intelligence and take responsibility for their own feelings instead of making their partners their sole support.
Currently, 29% of Gen Z men are single. If they do not mature soon to address their own emotional pain, they will lose the opportunity for love. Relationships are only sustainable when both individuals can balance themselves, rather than turning the other person into their sole emotional rescue station.
"It's time to give men their homework," the expert said.
Ngoc Ngan (According to The Guardian, Huffpost)
