In 2020, through a family arrangement, Priya, 38, married a gay man from a family valuing reputation in Meerut. After the wedding, they moved to California, USA.
For six years, Priya's husband supported her in starting her own business. However, tragedy struck when her husband announced he was leaving to live with his same-sex partner. Facing a broken marriage, Priya also endured pressure from her husband's family in India to have children. When she suggested adoption, he refused, reiterating their initial agreement to remain childless.
Returning to Delhi, Priya filed a lawsuit. She stated she is pursuing a solitary legal battle because the judicial system has not updated to handle such marital disputes. She also faces pressure because disclosing her husband's sexual orientation would affect his family in their hometown.
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Illustration: India Today |
In India, marrying before the age of 30 is a social norm. To avoid stigma, many within the LGBTQ+ community opt for "lavender marriages"—a term from the early 20th century referring to marriages of convenience where at least one partner is gay. These are unspoken agreements to maintain a traditional image.
A Human Rights Watch report indicates that marriages of convenience often cause psychological crises as individuals must maintain a false life. A survey by the international LGBTQ+ non-governmental organization reveals that 70% of LGBTQ+ individuals in India still conceal their sexual orientation from their families. The medical journal The Lancet also reported that rates of depression and suicidal ideation are three times higher for those in facade marriages compared to those living authentically.
Mimansa Singh Tanwar, a psychologist at Fortis Healthcare, stated that this model only works when both parties are willing and share common goals, such as raising children or maintaining social image. According to her, many choose this path to conform under family pressure.
However, Tanwar noted that these individuals often experience exhaustion, anxiety, reduced self-confidence, and difficulty maintaining genuine external relationships. Prolonged suppression of one's identity creates continuous psychological stress.
Rohan, 41, and his wife, both LGBTQ+, entered into a marriage based on mutual consent. He stated that they had carefully considered financial and emotional aspects. But after 10 years, his wife proposed ending the marriage, exhausted from caring for his family and living a life that wasn't hers.
In the conservative Gujarati community, separation is not recognized, making divorce even less acceptable. After consulting a lawyer, Rohan agreed to leave with compensation. He mentioned that his homosexuality impacted his unmarried younger sister.
"The marriage has ended, but the gossip persists," he said.
Ngoc Ngan (According to India Today)
