The story, shared by Ms. Ngoc Tu, mother of a 7th grade student at Pascal Secondary School, Phuc Thinh commune, Ha Noi, during a parent-school dialogue on 11/1, unfolded one year ago. When her daughter reported a 9.75 score on her math test, Ms. Tu's first reaction was to ask: "Where did you lose the 0.25 points, was it worth it?". Her daughter's counter-question left her speechless: "This is my effort, my hard work, why don't you encourage me first instead of asking like that?". Ms. Tu realized her daughter was right. She had immediately focused on the flaw instead of acknowledging her effort, violating her own teaching about looking at things from multiple perspectives.

Ms. Pham Thi Ngoc Tu shared at the dialogue on 11/1. *Photo: School provided*

Ms. Tu apologized and admitted to "not being subtle enough" with her child, explaining that understanding the reason for the lost points was also to remind her to be more careful in future tests. She advises that when a child points out a mistake, adults should not maintain excessive pride. If a child's perspective is valid, parents should frankly admit their error, believing that if parents "know how to listen, children will open up".

Faced with many heartbreaking stories resulting from parents placing too many expectations and creating academic pressure on their children, Ms. Tu realized that the most frightening thing is when children no longer trust their parents enough to share. "Scores can be improved, but if a child slips away, everything becomes unpredictable", she said.

Ms. Tu's story resonated with many parents, not just at the meeting. A video of her sharing, posted on Pascal Secondary School's fanpage, garnered nearly 700,000 views in over one day. Many stated they had been in similar situations as Ms. Tu and praised her approach.

Ms. Le Thu Lan, residing in Phuc Loi ward, Ha Noi, the mother of a 12th grade male student, said she "also learned a lesson" after watching. She recalled times she questioned her son why he didn't score above 8.5 in math or 9 in English. "I thought this was a safe threshold for university admissions, forgetting that achieving and maintaining this level was also a huge effort from my child", Ms. Lan expressed. Mr. Nguyen Thanh Hung, a parent of a 9th grade student at Pascal Secondary School, also believes adults need to adjust their expectations for their children. According to him, the most important thing is whether the children have tried their best. If teachers, friends, and parents only talk about scores and passing or failing, children will face significant pressure.

Parents attending the dialogue. *Photo: School provided*

Mr. Truong Van Dien, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Pascal Secondary School, observed that Ms. Ngoc Tu's story was very "touching" because, in his experience as an education manager, he had seen many similar cases. According to him, the mother was "very brave" for sharing her story and believed that sincerity and frankness would create a positive message. "Through this story, I feel heartwarming to see parents sharing with each other", Mr. Dien said. "We also strive to build an environment and activities to bring parents closer to their children".

For Ms. Tu, the lasting impression from the 9.75 math score story was not just about how to question, praise, or remind her child, but also about her timely self-adjustment before pressure created a distance with her child.

Thanh Hang