At 6 p.m., Hong Diem was stranded at a train station in Sydney, Australia, due to a delayed metro, while her son waited at preschool. Her ride-sharing taxi was canceled, and the next bus was 15 minutes away. She called the teacher repeatedly to apologize and update her arrival time.

"In Australia, people are very punctual, so I have to be on time to the minute. If there are unforeseen circumstances, the teacher will wait, but I cannot let that happen often", Diem said.

If she were still in Ho Chi Minh City, the mother of two would rarely face such a situation, as both sets of grandparents would assist with pickups, drop-offs, or childcare when parents were busy or ill. In 2022, Diem and her husband moved to Australia. Their first child was 5 years old at the time. Without family, the couple had to learn procedures and arrange childcare themselves.

In Australia, students finish school at 3:15 p.m. Parents who cannot pick up their children on time must register for after-school care services until 6 p.m. If the school reports a child is ill, a parent must pick them up immediately.

To care for their children, her husband switched to a more flexible job, while Diem worked part-time. After giving birth to her second child, she had to take nearly two years off work. "Raising young children abroad is a major challenge. Time for things like going to the movies or having coffee is almost nonexistent for us. Everything, from work schedules to when a child is sick, must be planned", Diem shared.

Hong Diem's family in Sydney, Australia. Photo courtesy of interviewee

Beyond the lack of support, Vietnamese families also face financial pressure. Preschool fees in Australia range from 150-200 AUD per day. If a child attends 5 days a week and the family has not yet received the child care subsidy, they could pay 3,200-4,300 AUD per month. This amount represents 52-70% of a worker's pre-tax income.

The Australian government can cover up to 90% of tuition fees, depending on family income and circumstances. However, the subsidy is capped, and parents must pay any amount exceeding this limit. Hiring a nanny is even more expensive, at about 60 AUD per hour, while the median income for a worker is 42,9 AUD per hour. Consequently, many couples reduce work hours or take turns caring for their children.

In the US, Bich Tram, 34, living in California, also struggled to adapt after giving birth to her first child in 2023. After two months of maternity leave, the biggest challenge for her and her husband was finding available and affordable childcare.

"According to recommendations, children who are not old enough should not be left alone, so it's very difficult for families. Here, you also cannot simply send children to neighbors' homes like in Vietnam", Tram explained.

Upon returning to work, most of her income went to childcare, while she still had to cover living expenses and a home loan. Her husband took on two additional jobs to support the family financially.

According to 2024 data, the average cost of childcare in the US is 13,128 USD per year, or 1,094 USD per month. This amount accounts for over 10% of the median income for couples, exceeding the 7% deemed affordable by the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). A Pew Research Center survey showed that 48% of parents with children under 5 years old found it difficult to find financially suitable services.

To alleviate pressure, Tram and her husband submitted income verification documents to enroll their child in a lower-cost public childcare program. In return, the family must adhere strictly to pickup and drop-off times. Any changes to their work schedule must be planned in advance.

Analyzing the adaptation process of immigrant families, Professor Min Zhou, Director of the Asia Pacific Center at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), US, noted that without the constant support from grandparents and relatives as in Vietnam, many families must rebuild their care networks based on social services and community support in their new homes.

"Money can help access childcare services, but it cannot replace emotional support, family bonding, and a sense of belonging to a community", she told VnExpress.

For Diem's family in Australia, the adaptation process unfolded gradually. In the first months after childbirth, when her baby cried a lot at night and she had low milk supply, the couple actively sought out support programs for parents with young children.

A few days after birth, the local medical center arranged regular check-ups to monitor the child's development and the mother's mental health, allowing early detection of postpartum depression risks. They also received in-home support from social workers for many years. These professionals observed how parents interacted with their children, explained child behavior, and guided appropriate responses.

On one occasion, Diem noticed her child was often irritable and had problems at school, so she consulted a social worker. The specialist explained that this was how the child sought connection with parents, not simply a sign of stubbornness. Afterward, Diem attended a two-month course organized by a hospital to understand child psychology and emotional management.

"Before, in Vietnam, I relied on my family. In Australia, I primarily rely on myself, my husband, and the support of the healthcare system", Diem stated.

Professor Min Zhou suggests that building social connections helps immigrant families integrate better into their new homes. Friends, neighbors, schools, community organizations, and cultural groups can become pillars of support for parents to share experiences and seek daily assistance, while also helping children maintain connections to their native language and culture.

According to her, after-school programs, language, cultural, sports, and mentorship activities need further development. These services not only support children's development but also give parents more time to maintain their jobs. In the absence of constant companionship from the extended family, community networks become a crucial resource for many immigrant families.

Ngoc Ngan