Stephanie Foo, a Malaysian-American radio producer, now enjoys a happy life with her husband and a supportive community. But to reach this point, Foo battled C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), a consequence of childhood physical and emotional abuse. In 2022, she shared her story in a memoir titled "What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma".

According to the Cleverland Clinic, C-PTSD is closely related to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). While PTSD often results from a single traumatic event such as an assault, difficult childbirth, or a fire, C-PTSD stems from prolonged, repeated trauma like childhood abuse or domestic violence.

The Vietnamese edition, fully titled "Where the Wounds Light Shines - A Journey of Healing from Complex Trauma," translated by Phuong Huynh and published by Dan Tri in collaboration with First News, was released in 6/2022. Photo: First News

The memoir opens with Foo watching an old home video, seeing her younger self seemingly happy with Christmas presents. The film then shows her blowing bubbles with her mother outdoors, a scene that surprises the adult Foo. Her memories of childhood are not carefree but filled with pain.

Foo recounts moving with her family to California at the age of two and a half, driven by her father's "American dream." He, a Malaysian of Chinese descent, strived to provide a comfortable home in San Jose, near good schools. Throughout her childhood, Foo was obedient and well-behaved to please her parents, but she received little affection in return. Instead, she was forced to become a caregiver, soothing her parents' emotional wounds.

The years of abuse led to Foo developing C-PTSD. She experienced constant anxiety, difficulty regulating emotions, and self-loathing. The condition hindered her ability to maintain relationships, made her prone to aggression, and fostered unhealthy attachments to her abusers. She constantly felt unworthy of love. Foo spent years in therapy, trying various treatments, but they felt like "applying pristine white plaster to gaping holes in my core."

Portrait of author Stephanie Foo. Photo: Stephanie Foo's Instagram

During her healing journey, Foo experienced moments of stability, but also times when she saw herself as "damaged goods." Despite this, she refused to ignore her past, daring to explore the roots of her pain, tracing it back through her parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. Through this exploration, she uncovered different facets of poverty, war, and the dark side of the "American dream."

Foo concludes: "I am the product of an entire country. I am one of many. We are all victims of a dysfunctional community, skilled at suppressing ourselves while muttering, 'Grin and bear it. Bite the bullet.'" With courage and perseverance, Foo overcame her past trauma. Ultimately, she found a happy ending with her own family and a successful career.

According to the Vietnamese publisher, the book provides a comprehensive overview of C-PTSD, especially relevant in Vietnam where there is a lack of books or in-depth research on the condition. "Where the Wounds Light Shines is not an easy read. The descriptions of Stephanie's abuse and trauma force the reader to pause, weighed down by the pain. But with a writing style that blends storytelling and scientific information, Foo paints a truthful, profound picture of C-PTSD and its impact on adult life," the introduction states.

The memoir has received positive feedback from international readers, earning numerous 5/5 star ratings on Goodreads. It was included in the "Best Books of 2022" lists by the Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, and NPR. On Goodreads, one reader recommends the book to anyone interested in mental health, ethnicity, Asian-American identity, or stories of self-discovery.

Stephanie Foo, 38, currently lives in New York. She is an author and producer known for her work on radio programs like This American Life, Snap Judgement, Reply All, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab. Some of her articles have been published in the New York Times. She is also a speaker and lecturer, having taught at Columbia University.

Phuong Thao