Tran Thi Thuy An, 34, originally from Vinh Long, immigrated to Australia 10 years ago. Six years later, she divorced, becoming a single mother.

Thuy An rented a room in Adelaide, working at a preschool during the day and taking on extra evening jobs to build her finances. Despite her busy schedule, she dedicated time to yoga, investment studies, and researching marriage psychology, aiming to avoid the mistakes of her previous breakup.

She progressed from an employee to a manager at the preschool. "Self-reliance is a prerequisite for entering an equal relationship," An stated.

Thuy An and her husband traveled to New Zealand, after four months of dating, in 2025. *Photo provided by subject*

During this period, An used dating apps to find a new partner. She admitted that she initially let emotions guide her, enduring a date in 40 degrees Celsius heat with a man who "couldn't even buy her a glass of water." Despite feeling uneasy, she continued until she realized the interest was one-sided.

An noticed a paradox on dating apps: they are designed to retain users by offering countless options. This often makes people superficial and impatient, believing a "better match" is just a swipe away. Understanding this, An decided to prioritize quality over quantity in her screening process.

Learning from experience, she set up her profile with the goal of finding a long-term relationship. An established clear criteria for ethics, understanding, and personal growth. She paid for the app to view potential partners' information beforehand, immediately filtering out those seeking one-night stands or casual relationships.

The 34-year-old woman's dating process involved: one month of messaging, a video call to verify information, and then a face-to-face meeting. Before each date, she shared her location with a close friend for safety.

Over three years, she chatted with 20 people and met five in person. One, an air force member, was kind but too independent, clashing with her need for quality time. Another was four years her junior, loving and attentive, but his life views did not align with an experienced woman.

"I realized that love alone is not enough; compatibility in life values is crucial," she said. An frequently downloaded and deleted apps when she couldn't find a suitable match. However, instead of settling to alleviate loneliness, she focused on self-development.

In early 2025, An connected with Alexander Spanton, 32, a data analyst in Brisbane.

"Initially, I was impressed when she sent a long message detailing her expectations for a partner," Alexander stated. He noted that An's seriousness aligned with what he sought online.

Their first meeting lasted six hours. An brought a list of questions about marriage, finances, and life goals. Alexander answered thoroughly, then proactively deleted his dating app to demonstrate his commitment.

"He maintained distance and respected me. It wasn't until our third date that he held my hand," An recounted.

The relationship progressed quickly as Alexander not only loved her but also showed care for her son. When An proposed co-signing a bank loan for a house after one month of dating, Alexander immediately agreed. "That showed she trusted and was serious about this relationship, and I trusted her too," Alexander said.

Less than one month later, they moved into their shared three-bedroom, 150 square meter home in Brisbane.

Thuy An took wedding photos with her husband in Sa Pa, in early 2026. *Photo provided by family*

Understanding his girlfriend's "love language" was acts of service, Alexander readily cooked, peeled fruit, and handled chores. He learned Vietnamese to connect with An's family. Alexander's aspiration is to develop himself and provide financial support for his wife to pursue her passions.

Conversely, knowing her husband valued recognition and encouragement, An often praised, thanked, and spoke kindly to him. The Vietnamese wife also won her husband over with homemade dishes each evening.

In early 2026, An and her husband visited her family in Vietnam. Nguyen Thi Nhan, 81, An's grandmother, expressed joy at seeing her granddaughter find happiness after heartbreak and struggles abroad. "Alex is charming; he insisted on cooking and washing dishes instead of me," she said.

Currently, in addition to their professional work, An and her husband share their experiences on safe dating and identifying online scams on social media.

Reflecting on her journey, Thuy An believes women after a breakup need a shift in mindset. The mistake is not being a single mother, but accepting an unworthy partner. Focusing on self-development—from appearance and health to professional skills and foreign languages—creates self-worth. "When women have knowledge and confidence, the right person will appear," she affirmed.

Pham Nga