As a child, psychologist Joshua Coleman, a member of the US Council on Contemporary Families, was often called a "crybaby" for frequently shedding tears. This nickname reflects a common, generational stereotype: male weakness is shameful and requires strict discipline.

However, modern neurological and psychological data are proving the opposite.

Psychology professor Allan N. Schore at UCLA found that even in the womb, the brain circuits regulating stress in boys develop slower than in girls. This makes it harder for newborn boys to self-soothe and regulate emotions under pressure.

Illustration: Istock

Agreeing with this view, in a report in the British Medical Journal, child psychiatrist Sebastian Kraemer asserted that from conception, males are more vulnerable than females.

Physiologically, a newborn boy typically lags behind a girl in development by about four to six weeks. This delay makes boys more sensitive and more negatively affected if parents neglect their emotions or apply overly rigid discipline.

Although boys require more patience and comfort, the reality in many families is the opposite. The belief that boys need to be toughened became popular in the 19th century, when people feared a mother's affection would make her son "effeminate".

A 2016 study, based on data from the US, Canada, and UK, showed that parents often spend more time reading, telling stories, and singing to their daughters. Economists Marianne Bertrand and Jessica Pan, in their analysis of 20,000 children, also indicated that parents often feel closer to their daughters and frequently cite being too busy as a reason for spending less time playing with their sons.

Differences are also evident in communication. Mothers tend to hug and comfort their daughters. Fathers, conversely, use emotional language with daughters but competitive, achievement-focused language with sons.

Forcing children to suppress emotions leads to long-term consequences. Males have a higher risk of behavioral disorders, such as violence and destructiveness, than females. Men who feel they do not meet "masculine" standards often resort to violence to hide their insecurity.

"Boys are not only more active, but by most criteria, they are more sensitive and emotionally vulnerable", commented journalist Ruth Whippman, author of the book Boymom (2024).

Experts advise parents to change their approach: accept vulnerability, increase emotional interaction, and stop imposing "masculine" pressure for children to develop healthily.

Nhat Minh (According to Atlantic)