Two months ago, Thuy Trang, 37, from Nam Dinh, meticulously crafted a scenario to teach her 8th-grade son a lesson about laziness. Nguyen, her son, was a decent student but often lethargic and reluctant to study.
Knowing her son feared ghosts but enjoyed good food, Ms. Trang enlisted a camera installer to play the role of a recruiter, with her husband acting as an accomplice. She printed a funeral program script, instructing her son to audition as a "funeral MC" with a daily wage of 100,000 VND and a meal of rice with pickled vegetables.
The mother explained that Nguyen's sluggish and slow demeanor perfectly suited the somber atmosphere of funerals. When asked to try saying, "The memorial service has begun", the boy turned pale, shaking his head vigorously and begging for mercy. After that unforgettable "interview", Nguyen became significantly more diligent in his studies.
In Can Tho, on 12/12, Ngo Tuyen, 33, made her 6-year-old daughter, Hau, skip school to sell lottery tickets as punishment for oversleeping. She bought 10 lottery tickets and instructed Hau to sell them on the street, without water or snacks. Thanks to her small stature, passersby took pity on Hau and bought tickets. In less than 15 minutes, the girl had sold them all and seemed quite pleased.
The mother continued to buy more tickets. After more than an hour of walking, Hau sold 31 tickets, earning 20,000 VND, but was completely exhausted. She began to whimper and give up. Just 75 minutes of selling lottery tickets changed Hau's attitude. Since that day, the girl has woken up early for school without needing reminders. She even developed a new "measure of value". "Now, if she asks to buy something, I convert it into the number of lottery tickets she'd have to sell. For example, 'one bag of candy means walking to sell 10 lottery tickets, okay?' and she immediately stops asking", Ms. Tuyen shared.
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Ms. Tuyen and Hau posing for a souvenir photo during an outing, in 2025. Photo: Ngo Tuyen |
However, not every "shock therapy" yields the desired outcome. On social media, many parents find themselves in humorous yet frustrating situations when their children not only don't fear hardship but even find joy in the punishment.
Before the funeral MC trick, Thuy Trang had tried several other methods. In 5th grade, she sent her son to Lai Chau to live with a Hmong family. During three days in the highlands, the boy followed adults hoeing land, herding buffalo, and eating simple meals. She also took him to a boarding school to witness the difficult lives of his peers. "I wanted my son to understand that despite their struggles, these children strive to succeed, and he, with better conditions, should try even harder", she stated.
Nguyen was scared, but only for a few days. Back home, he was subsequently punished by scooping manure to water vegetables, weeding, and picking chilies to sell at the market. Sitting in the middle of the rural market, the boy cried because no one bought his goods. Seeing the chubby, pitiable child, many people bought from him and even gave him snacks.
The next day, he eagerly asked his mother: "Can I go play at the market again today?"
In Nam Dinh, Duc Quynh asked his 5-year-old son to clean dog feces if he wanted to skip school, unexpectedly, the boy did it immediately with enthusiasm. Quynh Duong, 36, sent her 9th-grade son to a relative's cattle farm for one week to "learn to fear hardship", but the boy loved the work so much that he asked to stay for a month, forcing his parents to come and make him return home.
In Nam Dinh, Thu Huong, 29, dressed her 7-year-old daughter in old clothes and a torn hat to sell cotton swabs in a tourist area. Seeing the pitiful girl, tourists gave her more money than the cost of the goods, totaling over one million VND. The mother had to find each person who had bought items to return their money, while her daughter declared she "wanted to quit school and start working right away" because she found earning money too easy.
From a professional perspective, psychologist Hong Huong (Children's Rights Protection Association) noted that exposing children to labor early is a brave choice but carries the potential risk of an "illusion of motivation".
"This method can create an emotional shock, but it can also easily lead children to form a distorted view, believing some professions are noble while others are lowly, or only seeing the hardship of manual labor without recognizing its value and beauty", she said.
Master Le Hoang Phong (University College London, UK) warned about parents' "illusion of motivation". According to him, diligence following punishment is primarily avoidance motivation – children study out of fear of hardship, not out of a desire for knowledge.
"The message 'if you don't study, you'll sell lottery tickets' inadvertently turns learning into a means of escape, rather than a path to self-development", he analyzed.
He suggested that if parents want children to experience labor, it should be a guided, safe, and educational activity about the value of labor and finance, not a punishment to instill fear.
Pham Nga
