After five years of marriage, Luca noticed a strange void in his happy union: He had never received a sincere compliment from his wife.
He always actively complimented his wife daily, from her new outfits to the dinners she cooked. "But I can't remember the last time I heard a word of recognition", Luca shared on a psychology forum.
His story is not unique. Many husbands admit they often experience a "drought" of compliments, even while living in harmonious relationships.
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Illustration: Metro |
In the modern world, women easily receive encouragement from social media through complimentary comments from friends. Conversely, men rarely have a similar emotional support network.
A study in New Zealand indicates that women tend to compliment each other significantly more than they do their male partners.
Consultant Kate Mansfield, founder of "The Dating Diet" system in the UK, states that men often lack the close friendships and emotional support that women have. Therefore, they particularly need recognition and positive feedback from their wives to feel valued within the family.
Clinical psychologist Madeleine Roantree from the UK, notes that many wives assume their husbands already know their own worth or fear that compliments will make their partners complacent.
Claire Davis, 46, from London, is an example. Having experienced a previous breakup, Claire always suppressed her emotions due to an invisible fear. "I worried that if I complimented him too much, he would take advantage of my kindness. My mindset at the time was not to overdo it, just enough", she confessed.
It was only after attending therapy with her husband that Claire understood her silence inadvertently created distance, making James, her husband, feel insecure and withdrawn.
When Claire began to change, the results astonished her. James admitted that small compliments helped him feel more confident and brave enough to reveal his vulnerabilities. "I feel safer and more connected to my wife than ever before", James said.
Experts suggest that compliments are a way to build trust and meet core emotional needs. A message like "You make me very happy" or "You look great today" has a more powerful impact than any material gift.
Nhat Minh (According to Metro)
