Minh, 32 years old, a design specialist in Tay Ninh, vividly recalls the first night his body reacted, in mid-August. Around 3 a.m., he woke up with his heart pounding in his chest, short and shallow breaths, and sweaty hands. He sat silently on the edge of the bed, waiting for his heart rate to slow, then opened his computer to continue his unfinished design work.

Three years ago, Minh set a goal to save 1,5 billion VND for a down payment on an apartment, after both families repeatedly reminded him that "a man needs a house in his name before getting married". He sat in front of his screen for 14-16 hours daily, took on additional freelance projects, ate out, and stayed awake with strong coffee and energy drinks.

Minh's weight gradually decreased, and the muscles in his neck, shoulders, and jaw became rigid, forcing him to constantly turn his head while working. Palpitations in the middle of the night recurred several times a week. Concerned by these unusual physical signs, Minh went to the Ho Chi Minh City University of Medicine and Pharmacy Hospital, where he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and required treatment.

Young people taking group wedding photos. Photo: Viet Anh

Similarly, a 33-year-old man in Ha Noi faced continuous pressure from family and relatives about marriage every time he returned home. As the eldest son, the responsibility of "having an heir" weighed heavily on him. Despite having a stable job, he felt inadequate to start a family because he did not own a house or car, and his income did not meet expectations. The fear of judgment led him to visit his hometown less often, avoid family gatherings, cut off communication with friends, and dedicate all his time to burying himself in work to save money for a house.

Gradually, the man experienced insomnia, frequent palpitations, feelings of emptiness, and loss of appetite. Master Hoang Quoc Lan, from the Mental Healthcare Center at Phuong Dong General Hospital, diagnosed him with an anxiety disorder.

"During counseling, this man admitted that what worried him was not single life, but the feeling of being judged as a failure", Lan shared.

Clinical Psychology Master Vuong Nguyen Toan Thien, Professional Director of Lumos Psychological Counseling and Therapy Center, stated that there is currently no national data on stress related to this pressure. However, studies show that the gap between young people's dream of settling down and their financial capabilities is widening.

Data from Q2/2025 by the Vietnam Real Estate Market Research and Evaluation Institute (VARS IRE) shows that in just five years, apartment prices in Ha Noi increased by 88%, Da Nang by nearly 70%, and Ho Chi Minh City by nearly 50%. Conversely, income growth modestly increased by only about 6,4% per year. With a safe spending formula (allocating one-third of income for housing), an urban family would need 80 years of savings to own a house.

Soaring house prices are also disrupting young people's life milestones. Statistics from the General Statistics Office record that the country currently has about 20 million single people, while the average age of first marriage continues to reach new peaks. If two decades ago (1999-2019), the age for starting a family increased by only 1,1 years, then in just five years (2019-2024), this number surged by 2,1 years to 27,3 – an almost 8-fold faster increase, with many large cities even exceeding 30.

From a sociological perspective, this is a phenomenon of "life milestone inflation", where the time required to earn a degree, secure a stable job, and find a place to live is extended, making marriage a luxury relegated to the back of the line.

From a mental health perspective, Master Thien cited a 2024 review study on financial stress published in international medical journals, which indicates that prolonged financial pressure directly attacks the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, continuously activating the sympathetic nervous system to release cortisol and adrenaline.

When individuals push themselves beyond their limits in the race to accumulate wealth, their biological alarm system gets stuck in the "on" state. Chronically high cortisol levels disrupt natural melatonin production, leading to deep sleep disturbances.

Lack of deep sleep prevents the brain from eliminating metabolic waste products via the glymphatic system, resulting in brain fog, memory impairment, and cellular energy depletion.

Simultaneously, prolonged sympathetic stimulation severely reduces heart rate variability (HRV) – an indicator of the cardiovascular system's ability to recover and adapt. Low HRV directly correlates with increased systemic inflammatory markers like C-reactive protein (CRP) and pro-inflammatory cytokines. This is the root cause of early cardiovascular diseases, irritable bowel syndrome, tension headaches, and immune system decline in young workers.

Notably, pathological responses to pre-marital financial pressure show distinct gender differences, as expert Thien analyzed.

For men, societal stereotypes force them into the role of "financial pillar", causing their self-worth to be entirely equated with their accumulated assets. When they fail to meet expectations of buying a house or a car, they are prone to masked depression.

Instead of expressing emotions, men often tend to engage in self-destructive physical behaviors such as extreme overtime work and substance abuse (caffeine, nicotine, alcohol) to temporarily cope with feelings of helplessness, accelerating physical decline.

Conversely, in women, pressure often manifests as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). The fear of economic instability after childbirth and the burden of family expenses cause the amygdala (the brain's fear processing center) to become overstimulated.

This situation creates a passive defense mechanism where patients develop extreme defensive material standards (such as requiring their partner to already own a house or car), self-isolate, and avoid emotional connection, leading to chronic loneliness and prolonged inner emptiness.

"When the body sends emergency signals through palpitations, chest tightness, trembling, or persistent insomnia, it is no longer a matter of personal financial planning, but the boundary of a medical condition", Master Thien emphasized.

Workers are increasingly exhausted. Illustration: CNA

To prevent multi-organ damage, experts advise young people to establish a "biological rescue" protocol before discussing marriage. First, they can immediately reduce overnight working hours. Set a ceiling for caffeine consumption (not after 2 p.m.), and re-establish a fixed sleep schedule to restore delta brain waves during deep sleep. Moderate physical activity for 30 minutes daily helps muscles consume excess sugar and stress hormones in the blood.

Everyone should separate biological value and human dignity from accumulated wealth. Ask reflective questions to identify "misconceptions": Is buying a house at 30 a genuine survival need or an anxious response to societal judgment? If owning an asset means trading neurological health and emotional connection, is the foundation of the marriage being broken even before it begins?

When experiencing panic attacks, a suffocating feeling, insomnia lasting over two weeks, or developing suicidal thoughts, patients need to immediately visit hospitals with psychiatry departments or clinical psychology centers. The use of anxiolytics combined with psychotherapy is a mandatory medical indication to restore the nervous system to a state of balance and prevent other serious diseases.

Experts believe that financial preparation before marriage is not a race to see who is rich enough to marry. What is important is compatibility in personality, values, and life perspectives to enter married life with a steady mindset.

"A house and a car can be real assets, but when they become a prerequisite for someone to feel 'good enough' to marry, the issue is no longer economic", Master Thien concluded.

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