At 29, Tiffany Tate in Charlotte, North Carolina, bought her own home. On a first date, a man asked, "If you bought your own home, what role do men have left?" He stated he didn't understand why Tiffany was seeking a relationship when she had already purchased a house independently. That was the last time they met.
"Why is my homeownership a barrier to dating? It should be a plus, but it became a reason for rejection", Tiffany recounted.
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Illustrative photo: Pexels |
Homeownership trends among single individuals
Divergent dating perspectives are increasingly evident amidst declining marriage and birth rates in the US. A survey revealed that 31% of Gen Z men agree with the view that "wives must obey their husbands". Meanwhile, young women prioritize careers and financial independence.
A 2025 report by the National Association of Realtors (NAR) indicates that single women account for 25% of first-time homebuyers, double the 10% rate for single men.
Despite lower average incomes, women are willing to cut expenses to buy a home. 41% of women accept reducing spending on entertainment and shopping, compared to 31% of single men.
Daryl Fairweather, chief economist at the real estate platform Redfin, stated that modern women prioritize seizing financial opportunities rather than waiting for marriage to achieve homeownership.
Men's defensive mindset
Tonya moved to San Francisco in 2021 to teach at the University of California. She purchased a condominium at 36 to accumulate assets. Her romantic relationships faced difficulties as soon as partners discovered she owned her home.
When she met a man in his late 40s through a matchmaking service, he commented on the rent price during a visit to Tonya's apartment. When she informed him it was her own property, the man became angry and criticized her. "They view women achieving more than them as an act that diminishes male prowess, even if the woman has no such intention", Tonya said.
Dr. Joanna Syrda, an economist, published a 2019 study indicating that men's stress levels increase when their wives earn over 40% of the household income. Dr. Y Joel Wong, a psychologist at Indiana University, stated that men tend to want to assert their masculinity when they feel their ego is threatened.
"When women are more economically successful, men feel they lose a part of their masculine identity", Wong said.
Choosing to stop
Diana Pegoraro, a lawyer, purchased an apartment on the Toronto waterfront in 2020. She stated that her apartment became a point of conflict in relationships. Even though many partners could afford to buy a home but chose to rent, they still asked her to move in with them instead of moving into her apartment.
After attempting to rent out her home to live with an ex-boyfriend, which failed, Diana decided to end relationships if partners showed a negative attitude towards her property ownership.
Fairweather noted that moving into a girlfriend's home goes against traditional social norms, making many men hesitant.
Angela Johnson, a real estate agent in Los Angeles, stated that the number of single female clients buying homes is increasing. According to her, this group is enthusiastic about homeownership and does not view it as a burden.
Tiffany, now 40, stated that she deleted all dating apps to dedicate time to other pursuits after being rejected multiple times for being too independent.
Minh Phuong (According to Guardian)
