Hiro, 35, living in Tokyo, always avoids dating overly independent women. While he admires women with their own careers and financial autonomy, he confesses he would find it tiring to have such a girlfriend.

Hiro cannot imagine having to share household chores with his wife or being stripped of decision-making power—things that were previously taken for granted as belonging to the man in his family.

Illustration: Japan Times.

Hiro is not an isolated case. A survey by Spa magazine among men aged 20-60 with a moderately good income (4-7 million yen annually) revealed that 51,9% frequently admitted to feeling "vulnerable" around women.

This fear affects not only the unemployed or lonely but also those with stable jobs and happy families. Previously, Japanese men's pride was tied to their role as providers, but as women become more independent and technology changes, many feel a sense of loss.

According to a dating coach in Tokyo, many male clients aged 30-40 feel a "loss of masculinity" when with women who earn more or are more assertive. Instead of confronting this, they choose to avoid it.

The underlying cause stems from changing social structures. According to the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the percentage of Japanese women participating in the workforce surged from 63% in 2012 to 74% in 2022 and is expected to reach 77% by 1/2025, according to an Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) survey. As women enter fields traditionally dominated by men, tensions arise. A 2024 My Navi Woman survey indicated that 34% of Japanese men find female colleagues "intimidating," primarily because they do not know how to adapt to new rules of equal conduct.

Professor Mari Miura, a political science expert at Sophia University in Tokyo, observes that Japanese men are undergoing a profound identity crisis. The traditional salaryman model—working tirelessly, being the sole breadwinner, and not being allowed to show weakness—is collapsing without a replacement.

"Many men were raised to believe their self-worth derived from power and their ability to provide. When modern women no longer require that, they feel outdated and resentful," Miura explains.

According to Miura, the solution is not to hold women back but to help men mature differently. Men need to be taught how to share emotions, household chores, and build self-esteem not based on dominance.

"Only when men break free from outdated notions of imposition and overwork will they stop feeling vulnerable," the professor asserts.

By Ngoc Ngan (Source: Metropolis Japan, Japan Times)