On 27/7, psychologist Hoang Quoc Lan from Phuong Dong General Hospital reported that the student arrived alone, looking pale from several sleepless nights. She was experiencing emotional dysregulation and constant self-blame. This state began after she received "unsatisfactory" results for her high school graduation exam.
The student confided in the doctor that her parents had high expectations for her to gain admission to a top-tier university. Consequently, they invested heavily in her education, leading her to attend extra classes almost daily, work with private tutors, and study late into the night. Even when exhausted, she felt unable to rest. This constant pressure gradually led to depression, negative thoughts, declining academic performance, and a loss of enthusiasm. In recent months, she experienced ongoing stress and anxiety, fearing she would disappoint her parents.
"My graduation exam scores were not high, and I feel all my efforts were meaningless," the student revealed. She added that she constantly thought, "I ruined everything, shamed my parents, and feel my future is bleak." She almost stopped eating, could not sleep, and continuously engaged in self-harm.
After conducting in-depth tests, the doctor diagnosed her with severe depression. Psychologist Lan is currently implementing a treatment plan that combines medication and psychotherapy to stabilize her health.
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Children can suffer from depression due to family expectations. *Illustration: Drnohle*
According to experts, high school graduation exam results are rarely the sole cause of depression in students. A more concerning factor is the pressure of family expectations, particularly when parents inadvertently equate academic scores with a child's intrinsic value.
When a child is constantly told, "you must get into this university, you must achieve that score," they gradually develop the belief that family love and recognition are contingent on their academic performance. When results fall short, they not only experience disappointment over missing their goal but also feel like failures, useless, and even guilty towards their parents. For sensitive students or those under prolonged academic pressure, the post-exam shock can become the "last straw," triggering or intensifying depression symptoms.
"Students may experience prolonged sadness, lose interest in everything, self-isolate, suffer from insomnia, loss of appetite, constant self-blame, and in some cases, develop negative thoughts," explained psychologist Lan.
Adolescence is a critical developmental stage marked by significant hormonal and psychophysiological changes. In many cases, suppressing unshared emotions can lead to prolonged stress and depression. This has not only immediate effects but also long-term consequences, impacting personality development and potentially causing damage that cannot be fully healed.
According to the psychologist, studying excessively does not equate to effective learning. On the contrary, studying while exhausted only diminishes effectiveness and can harm health. Families must prioritize their children's emotions and thoughts. Showing care, understanding, patiently listening to their confidences, and avoiding imposition are practical ways to reduce pressure.
Parents should support their children in academics and recreation, while also monitoring their social media use and exposure to harmful information. Additionally, families need to promptly recognize any unusual signs for timely intervention, thereby creating a safe environment for children.
Thuy Quynh
