Many people tend to prefer easygoing partners who readily accommodate all choices. However, psychology experts indicate that this deference can eventually become a burden.

This phenomenon, known as the "plastic bag theory", describes passive individuals who defer decision-making to their partners. The term draws on the image of an empty plastic bag, drifting aimlessly, lacking inherent structure, and completely carried by the wind. In romantic relationships, these individuals lack direction and initiative, merely "floating" by relying on their partner's decisions and plans to sustain the connection.

A survey by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) in the US revealed that 29% of men aged 25-35 had never initiated a date, largely due to a lack of confidence and a tendency to avoid making decisions.

Data from 40,000 participants in an assessment by US psychological counseling organization Empathi also indicated that individuals who frequently bear the burden of planning and emotional regulation experience prolonged stress.

Alessandro Frosali, founder of the Mallorca Men's Club in Italy, observed that many men are not proactive in decisions regarding dining, travel, or movies. They typically wait for their partners to decide and then follow.

Illustration: Pexels

This passivity is not exclusive to men. Behavioral psychology reports indicate that many women also adopt the "whatever" habit, often stemming from a people-pleasing syndrome. They conceal personal needs, granting their partners full decision-making power to cultivate an image of being pleasant and compliant, thereby avoiding unnecessary conflicts during dating.

Sera Bozza, a dating consultant in Australia, explained that when one partner avoids making choices, the other must assume the roles of organizer, decision-maker, and emotional regulator. This imbalance diminishes the relationship's appeal.

Bozza noted that this habit of accommodating a partner often stems from a desire to maintain harmony and avoid conflict. Individuals may diminish themselves to gain acceptance. This behavior creates a cycle of dependency: the more one person defers, the more the other must take the lead.

To address this, individuals in the relationship need to articulate their desires rather than letting their partners decide. For those currently bearing the burden, Bozza advises initiating direct, non-blaming conversations.

"You could say, 'I'm exhausted from having to plan and make decisions for both of us'", Bozza suggested. This phrasing helps partners avoid feeling accused, making them more receptive and willing to share responsibility. The conversation's goal is to encourage both parties to actively nurture the relationship.

By Ngoc Ngan (Via AU News)